Smoking Kills, Looks Kill

"Coffee and Smoking are the last great addictions" 

- Lara Flynn Boyle -

Smoking was truly the love of my life.

As filthy as that may sound, it genuinely had a titanic influence on my life.

I know for a fact that the majority of the gen-pop would disagree with this, but I cannot help but find women smoking mind-blowingly sexy.

The scenery of a stunner holding a lit cigarette with her delicate fingers and bringing it to her mouth - it's just too chic.

New Years 2013, I said goodbye to a solid 10 year relationship.

Yes, I was totally cliche and sold myself to the "New Year Resolution" stint.

Since I was a wee scoundrel, I just loved the look, smell and idea of smoking.

In my head, it was what the legitimate bossin' adults did. 

By fifteen I was sneakily purchasing my own packets and thinking I was the maddest bitch, smoking on lunch breaks under the school chapel. I know, could I be more hardcore? Pfft, what a tool.

Now, twenty-five years young and I've decided that a decade should definitely be enough to walk-away from such a self-destructive relationship.

The actual smoking I don't miss but the social and aesthetics I pine so very much.

Examples? Okay.

1. Dinner Dates

The JUICIEST conversations do not actually happen at the dinner table, they happen when you vacate the restaurant for a sneaky dirty cigarachi.

2. Disgusting Trashy Nights Out

Obviously, in the actual bar or nightclub the tunes are blaring making it impossible to carry out any sort of decent chats.

All you can really manage is "I AM SOOOO DRUNKKK" while you fist-pump, grind and think you're the hottest shit on the floor.

Stagger outside to the smoking area and you find yourself talking to your future best friend for life.

3. Post-Carnal Celebrations

What is better than mind-blowing sex sesh? The cigarachi after the work is done.

Nothing tastes better and says, "JOB WELL DONE".

4. a Filthy Dessert

Occasionally after a scrumpy meal, you don't want a Tiramisu, Mille Feuille nor a Creme Brulee. You just want a smelly tobacco char-stick. Sometimes, it's the only way to really say "Bon Appetit".

5. the Ultimate Stress Ball 

After a really shitty day in the office, all you can think about is chowing down on a dirty cigarette.

For some reason, you're certain that a smoke is the only way to make you feel better about your jerk-boss or the slutty bitch colleague.

That is just naming a few but I must admit, I love smelling like my perfume and just my perfume.

I've culled the strawberry fields with a dash of butt-trash scent for good now.

If it really comes down to it, I will go down the street, buy a packet of Fads and pretend to smoke so I feel like I am cool again.